03.46

i should stop staring at you when you're not looking
if i continue, i'm afraid i'd be in too deep
i need to avoid your smile, most especially your eyes
because i'd probably fall for you harder than i already do

i don't really intend to make the first move
and i'll soon be tired waiting for you to altleast try
but i don't want to lose a friend either
if you actually don't feel the same way

things are already slowly changing
all because of how i feel for you
but i'm still protective of my heart
which is why i'm keeping my distance

only time can tell what's in store in the future
if only i had a time machine or fast forward button
because i really want to know what will happen
so i can try to forget the agony of waiting

xKx

03.48

i'm not sure anymore
of how to act around you
i'm so very confused
can't feel what's on your mind

seems we don't talk like before
we're slowly drifting apart
maybe i should learn to stay away
avoid you or pretend you're not there

i don't really know what i'd get out of this
maybe i'm falling for you too fast too soon
this is probably the way to protect my little heart
from any more pain and sadness that liking you will bring

xKx

20.55

just how much can my confused little heart handle
when mixed emotions and crossed signals get in the way
because three guys and one heart doesn't really add up

one's an old crush, it's been three years
until now, i'm still crushing from afar
remaining just good friends, nothing more, nothing less

another is becoming a good friend
sooner or later, the teasing would start
on second thought, it might have started already

the last one has become a close friend of mine
other people are somehow used to seeing us together
while others actually want us to be more than just close friends

three different guys
three different crushes
three sets of butterflies

xKx

03.45

i'm not sure anymore
of how to act around you
i'm so very confused
can't read what's on your mind

seems we don't talk like before
we're slowly drifting apart
maybe i should learn to stay away
avoid you or pretend you're not there

i don't really know what i'd get out of this
maybe i'm falling for you too fast too soon
this is probably the way to protect my little heart
from any more pain and sadness that liking you will bring

xKx

11.56

because Christmas is near
i can't help but be excited
wrapping gifts to put under the Christmas tree
and singing Christmas songs at all Christmas parties

the colorful lights and the sparkly decor
fill the streets and houses i pass by
santa claus and his Christmas elves are ready too
ready to send cheer to all kids around the world

it's always been my favorite time of the year
so when September comes, i start counting down
i look forward to Simbang-gabi and Noche Buena
and most especially spending more time with friends and family

xKx

12.05

i miss you -- understatement of the year
no other way to describe how i really feel
feeling helpless knowing this out of my control
at the same time wishing you're feeling the same way

i miss you -- that much i know is true
my heart's restless 'till i see you again
can't really explain why i feel this way
i'd fall asleep hoping to dream about you

xKx

12.13

i've got all the motivation i need to write
but not exactly what i'd call inspiration
ranting is what i'm actually doing
putting all my heartache and sadness in words
this way seems to be so much safer
there'd be no hangover in the morning
just a reminder when i look back one day
of the on time i felt so vulnerable, so breakable

xKx

16.16

i keep replaying it in my mind
the way you laugh, the way you smile
the way you always try to make a joke
though not really funny, i still laugh along

it's so easy and comfortable to be around you
i always look forward to our life story conversations
where i enjoy learning more about you every time
and most of the time, you actually talk more than i do

though it's just been a while, you've been a good friend
somehow you can cheer me up whenever i'm down
and it can't be helped that you're real cute too
with all that, i'm just very glad i met you

xKx

15.54

my mind is tired from thinking
my heart is heavy from feeling
not exactly sure on how or what i should feel
or for whom would the feelings be for
confused little heart of mine is crying
both the happy tears and for another broken heart
who do i turn to now for comfort and advice
when someone once told me to follow my heart
which has led me to the situation i am in now

xKx

15.37

i'm on a plane to Rome
sitting by this window seat
looking out, all i see are clouds
all white, so peaceful and calm
anything else i see is a dot
and from your point of view down there
i'm part of the sky now

xKx

00.53

all the stress is getting to me
i'm unsure how to deal with it
i want to scream to let it all out
also want to cry when it gets too much
i just want everything to be over with
to wake up from this nightmare
and get rid of this terrible headache
so i don't have to feel so blue

xKx

13.13

i just want to write
my mind is screaming
my thoughts are floating
time is passing by

my dreams told me a story
while my mind has it on replay
i try to put it down on paper
before i slowly start to forget

like a fountain, it all just pours out
overflowing, word after word, line after line
being written down almost effortlessly
making it become a beautiful story to share

xKx

12.04

i'm staring at the board
all i hear and see are numbers
but all i can think of are words
all meaningless unless put together
so i'm trying to make them rhyme
and all i came up with are these six lines

xKx

00.40

i know i've just been wasting time
by sitting here and daydreaming
i can't really help it, can't be stopped
because it's constantly on my mind

i've got all the inspiration that i need
mix it with some music to finish a song
but all i'd rather do is stay in bed
stare at the ceiling and dream of you

xKx

13.17

things seem to be slowly changing
people are starting to have their assumptions
and giving their opinions on matters of the heart
but why am i the one under pressure
while you stand there quite clueless
although i don't really want you to know
afraid things just won't turn out right

xKx

02.26

what do you do
when what was hypothetical before
is now slowly becoming reality

how do you deal
with all the thoughts and feelings
that's clouding your mind and filling your heart

when do you stop
overthinking each word, each line, each laugh
or overanalysing every scenario and every conversation

how do you know
if you're ready, if it's true or if it's right
and that's time to stop daydreaming because it's real

when do you know
that you should stop thinking and make a decision
to just let go and move on or maybe hold on, just a little tighter

xKx

00.17

missing you is an understatement
there are no words to really describe how i feel
i feel this emptiness and loneliness of being incomplete
there's this longing and the restlessness of the heart

through the crowd, i keep on looking
for that familiar face i want to see
i listen to all the sounds and conversations
hoping that i might be able to just hear your laugh

because of that, i'd know that you're around
and i would be able to see your smile
only then i wouldn't be so sad or lonely
because i don't have to miss you anymore

xKx

18.33

being unlucky in love is the reason i forgot what love was about

but one day, all that changed for i started believing again

thanks to that unforgettable summer

i was staring to think there might be hope for me

there you were, another friendly face

a new friend, with a potential of being more

but i'm taking things slowly, there's no need to rush

don't really want to fall if i'm gonna get hurt in the end again

xKx

01.57

love hasn't always gone my way before
everytime i fall, i just get hurt even more
tears were always shed for someone who couldn't stay
so i put my heart aside and leave love for some other day

maybe love isn't just for me
i gave up searching for something i couldn't see
i wanted something no one could give
everytime i got scared, i would just leave

i'm a hopeless romantic who believed in fairytales
but now i'm one of those who has given up on true love
no more daydreaming, no more wishing on stars
reality has set in that maybe love isn't for me

xKx

01.54

can't get it out of my mind
distracted by what i'm feeling too
i'm on a look-out for your smile
or maybe i'd just hear you laugh
so i'll be able to catch a glimpse of you
and that will be enough to make my day

xKx

19.40

wherever i am, i seem to find myself thinking of you
on a bus, having lunch, in a lecture, thoughts fill my mind
then and there i realize why, i'm slowly falling for you
unexpected, unintended, surprisingly it all just happened

i don't want to overthink anything
or overanalyse situations we were in
i don't want to assume something
only to be disappointed in the end

unsure what to do or how to handle it
should i pursue it and get closer to you
or should i try to stay away by ignoring this
but maybe i'll just let it be and let life happen

xKx

14.48

it hasn't been mine for long
and now i've already lost it
i'm not sure when, where, how
or even why it happened
but now that it's missing, i don't feel to good
i feel like a kid who just lost her favorite toy
guess i'd admit i got used to having it around
everything's different now so i really want it back
but i don't even know where to start looking for it
maybe i'll just end up getting another one
something i'll settle for, that's unlike the original
or maybe i'll just find it when i least expect to
and if not, then that's something i have to get used to

xKx

22.08

the stars seem to be out tonight
and i can't help but stare at them
this doesn't happen very often
so this simply makes me smile
i think they're just so beautiful
that i'd like to make one wish
i close my eyes for a moment
and i find myself thinking of you
hoping that wherever you are
you're looking up at the dark night sky
and making one wish on a star too

xKx

15.44

i wake up to the sun in my face
it's such a good morning to just stay in bed
i get ready and bring out my shades
now i'm heading to the park just to relax and chill out
and maybe i'll bring some of my friends along

xKx

12.59

you've got this smile on your face
that intrigues me to what you're thinking
it's your mysteries personality you don't show
with the lifestyle you live that i don't understand
now i got to remind myself why i like you
when i don't seem to know you at all

xKx

12.51

i'm back to singing all these love songs
find a lyric with which i can relate to
you'll hear me humming a familiar tune
with a smile on my face and twinkle in my eyes
but don't be fooled, i'm not in love, no not yet
i'm just falling for him, slowly but hard
waiting for all my daydreaming to turn into reality

xKx

01.49

trust your heart to me
i promise never to break it
put your faith in me
know that i'll always be around
beleive all that i will say
i'd stay honest and faithful
listen to the beat of my heart
look me straight in the eyes
and you'll feel what i feel
so as you lightly squeeze my hand
and show a reassuring smile
i'd happily take that as a yes

xKx

02.01

my heart is heavy

my head is spinning

i'm thinking like crazy

can't get it out of my mind

i want to hug you

i'd take in your scent

and lay my head on your shoulder

hoping maybe everything will be alright

xKx

22.05

in the darkness of the night
there's one candle that's shining bright
it's your guide to your destination
in the journey you chose to go alone to
it's your spark of hope
when you think all is lost
your constant reminder, as long as it's burning
never to give up and keep fighting
and just like the candle on the cake
make a wish before blowing it out
somehow knowing you'd be okay
and everything is gonna b alright

xKx

Ondoy

without any warning, without a clue
our lives change right in front of our eyes
disaster strikes when we least expect it
how do you start over when you are the victims
what can you do to help those in need
donate some money, clothes and food
volunteer time and all effort to help
offer a prayer too for everyone's safety
spread the news so more people are aware
together we can move forward to make a new start
all for a better tomorrow for the Philippines

xKx


to help, you can:
http://www.redcross.org.ph

21.49

this crush doesn't seem to be going away soon
i need to stay away before i fall harder
you seem to be perfect that everyone likes you
i'm afraid that this crush would turn into more

whenever you're around, i always want to be near you
i enjoy all our conversations and the laughs we share
you're a true gentleman, sweet and quite smare too
how can anyone not find you charming at all

it's actually great my parents already like you
my mom trusts you while my dad has plans for you
ok, so maybe i think i'm already falling hard
hoping that you will be there to catch me

xKx

21.50

how do you finish writing a poem
when all inspiration is lost
how do you finish cooking your meal
when all ingredients run out
how do you finish singing a shong
when all melody is gone
how are you suppose to smile again
when you're dreaming with a broken heart

xKx

02.15

struggling to keep both eyes open
trying hard not to fall asleep
maybe i'll get a book to read
or turn to a random channel on tv
anything to keep me awake
i don't want to fall asleep and then wake up
only to find out everything wasn't real
afraid that it was all just a dream

xKx

02.05

it certainly has been a while now
slowly getting used to not having you around
i wonder how much longer i should wait
before i'll be able to talk to you and see you again

each day just seems to drag on
nothing new, exciting or interesting is happening
another ordinary day for this life routine
i'd let life run it's course only to suddenly be surprised

feelings change just like people do
things happen for a reason is what they all say
i'd get some rest and just let things be
and maybe i'd be able to sleep well tonight

xKx

01.52

it's getting harder and harder each day
to just sit here waiting patiently for you
you said goodbye and left with a hug
and now you're back without any warning

my mind's full of unanswered questions
while my heart's restless, unsure what to feel
but my head's telling me to just let it all go
maybe this is just how things are meant to be

i should leave things as they are
and not to expect anything more
this is me, preparing for the heartbreak
hoping to be surprised instead in the end

xKx

09.59

can't believe that summer's almost over
i guess time really flies when you're having fun
gotta make the most of what's left
while still waiting for something great to happen

this has already been my busiest summer
working most days, sleeping whenever i can
there are get-togethers and movie nights too with some extra effort
should i be worried with changes that autumn could possibly bring

four months ago, i know this summer would be different
now four months laterm i feel there's so much more i can do
but i guess all that can wait till next year comes round
all i'd do now is think back on the memories of this summer

and somehow i know i'd never forget

xKx

12.33

i've been living with this emptiness
like solving a puzzle without a clue
pretending there's no void in my life
acting like there's no hole in my heart
putting up walls against any emotion
showing a strong facade for everyone to see

xKx

22.18

where are the stars tonight?
i just need to make one wish
maybe i'll throw a penny in the fountain
then close my eyes and simply whisper
like i do before blowing out all the candles
or maybe, just maybe, if i think long and hard enough
my wish, this dream, could and would simply come true

xKx

11.05

out in the park
under the sun
lying on the grass
enjoying the heat
i put my shades on and fall asleep.

the packed lunches
with frisbees flying
there's even sunbathing
and card-playing too
don't you feel like you're at the beach?

building sandcastles
splashing in the water
walking around barefoot
to feel the sand between my toes
isn't summer just so much fun?

12.35

i can't get it out of my head
this new friendship that we share
slowly getting to know each other
when spending more time together

i'm starting to like you
i know my parents already do
a real gentleman and a guy with ambitions
how can anyone not fall for your charms

as i play with your hair and brush it with my fingers
it all seems just so normal, comfortable and so right
as you stand close to me, i take in your scent
i smile and sigh, hoping i wasn't too obvious

i'd miss you when you're not around
'cause you keep me company when i'm alone
real thoughtful as you lend me your books
oh couldn't you just get any sweeter at all

i immediately smile when anyone says your name
and i might talk about you, just a little bit too much
my heart's restless when i don't see you around
even more when you are and don't say hi

i don't want to jinx anything by overthinking this
if we ever we become more or remain just friends
that's all in the future we'll have to wait and see
for now, i'll simply make the most of this friendship we share

xKx

21.53

half full or half empty
how do you view the water in the glass
half empty; the glass used to be full
half full; there's still something left to drink
half empty; what if it's not enough, you need more
half full; still enough to satisfy your thirst
half empty today can be half full tomorrow
oh well, i guess life's interesting that way

xKx

21.18

the disco lights are switched on
the music's blasting through the speakers
you find your feet tapping to the beat
and your head nodding to every word
closing your eyes, you just let it all go
lose all control and let the music move you

xKx

02.04

my heart's sad when i miss you
when i don't get to see you
when we don't get to talk
but i can't help but smile
everytime they mention your name
my heart starts beating fast
i seem to get all excited
filled with hope and happiness
and i just can't wait to see you again

xKx

19.17

can't seem to get you off my mind
thoughts of you are on constant reply
everytime i close my eyes
your face is all that i see
hope people don't think i'm crazy
when i smile so suddenly
i really miss you, that much is true
and i can't wait till i see you again

xKx

19.31

i think i'd do things slowly this time
take things easy and try to relax
there really shouldn't be any hurry
for every thing will turn out fine
nothing else to actually be worried about
after all, we're simply friends and nothing more

xKx

12.55

my heart has been broken before
but everytime it still hurts
because once it finally starts to heal
another one comes and slowly tears it apart

there's probably why i'm afraid
everytime a guy starts getting close
i slowly take a step backwards, away from him
afraid that what i'm feeling is some mistake

someday, one day, maybe the right guy would come
the one who could possibly break my heart to never heal
but he wouldn't, he wouldn't even let a fly hurt me
and the only tears i'll cry is of happiness and sheer joy

xKx

08.58

i thought i heard your laugh
my heart skipped a beat
i wanted it to be you
i wanted to see you so badly
but i guess i'm not that lucky

xKx

09.19

chances, i'm taking all i've got
with a little courage, i'm making changes
choosing to be happier, a bit more carefree
not being pressured into anything i don't wanna be
so full of hope for the future coming
can't wait to see what's in store for me

xKx

dance

dance, let it all out
dance, show me what you got
dance, who care who's watching
dance, move to the beat
dance, who care if you're alone
dance, release all your stress
dance, the floor's all yours
dance, you know you're having fun
dance, just let it all go
and let the music take control

xKx

23.09

don't really wanna get my hopes up
i'd only end up disappointed and hurt
i should learn to live without expectations
but this i know is easier said than done
getting some sleep will help for now
i'd be able to start fresh tomorrow
but sleep can only do so much
unable to really cure a broken heart

xKx

08.43

4 words
took only a minute to say it
but now it's stuck in my ears ringing

4 words
it was what i was avoiding to hear
it's something i didn't want to know

4 words
from cloud nine, i cam tumbling down

4 words
and i woke up from all the dreaming

1 word
yes, just one little word
that's all it took my break my heart

xKx

01.38

i'm sad you didn't say goodbye
like you always do when you're leaving
there was no 'beso beso', not even a wave
you didn't even glance my way
maybe next time it'll be different
hoping, maybe i'd get to see your smile then

xKx

10.35

drowning myself in work
i try and keep myself busy
to keep my mind off it
to keep myself too tired to think
to be too tired to feel anything else
don't really want to think about it
don't wanna feel what my heart does
for it'd be easier to laugh or smile like that

xKx

09.54

i'm giving my heart the rest it deserves
allowing my mind to have a break
it's been thinking a bit too much
but sometimes i just really miss you alot
and then maybe my heart can't wait to see you again
today may not be my lucky day
but maybe tomorrow, fingers crossed
giving me something to look forward to

xKx

16.40

i should have gotten better at this
staring at him from afar
and crushing from a distance
afraid to make that one step to him
i know to not stand too close
i might laugh a little louder or smile just a bit more
and scared it'd become too obvious
i just want to keep this little secret
though at times i want to shout it out
but afraid you wouldn't feel the same
maybe you'd make the first move
maybe you'd find someone else
so until then i'd keep a good distance
and stare at you til my heart's satisfied

xKx

16.28

i've known you for quite a while now
only now am i getting to really know you
we're slowly becoming real good friends
great company at events like this
now i've got this little crush
that reminds me of high school
hoping, wishing it could turn into a bit more

xKx

16.41

i hope it's not really obvious
in the way i could talk to you
and tell your own stories to others
or in the way i try to spend time with you
make excuses just to hang around longer
hopefully not in the way my face lights up
whenever someone says your name
or in the way i discretely stare at you
smiling, thinking of how cute you can be
secretly i want so badly to tell you
but i know i'll never find the courage to
so i'll keep this little crush to myself
fingers crossed, that you'd be feeling the same way too

xKx

02.06

i've got this little secret i don't really wanna tell
i'm quite happy just keeping it to myself
it's unlike me to not be sharing something like this
i guess i'm scared of what it meant to say it out loud
to have it out in the open would make it seem more real
not sure whether my heart is ready to fall or trust again
but it can't be stopped if i'm already falling for you

xKx

09.40

i really should be getting some rest
i shouldn't be going to work
but i can't help it, i need to
it's the only way i could avoid 'you'
the thoughts of 'you' that fill my mind
and won't put my heart to ease

xKx

13.53

i really miss you
if only you knew
but maybe you do
i'd give you a clue
can't wait to see you

xKx

08.47

i may be going crazy
feeling all wierd inside
one moment you'll find me laughing
the next my tears can't be stopped

really confused on what i should feel
optimistic now then hopeless the next
life is meant to be really simple
so why do i seem to complicate things

completely unsure, i blame myself
i shouldn't really, but what can i do
maybe sleep would be the best thing for now
as for tomorrow, that's another day, we'll see

xKx

17.03

i close my eyes and i'm in a dream
i'm in my make-believe world i run away to
i like to pretend i'm someone else
and that i'm living a different life
for a moment, i'd forget all my worries
i'd be perfectly happy before returning to reality

xKx

17.51

lost in a daydream
i look at his face
he's as lost as i am
can't help but smile
hoping he'd look my way
until then, i'm content just staring at him
his eyes, his smile, his laugh
secretly, slowly, falling for him

xKx

15.45

sometimes i wish i was younger
everything was very much simpler than it is now
carefree, young and life was easy
whenever i get a new toy, i was happy

sometimes i wish i was still in highschool
understanding much less than i do now
new experiences with friendship, shool and love
creating memories to remember forever

now i'm older and more mature
no longer a teenager in high school
or a little kid with a brand new toy
but a young adult all grown up

i hope i'm ready, i hope i'll be okay
can i do this alone? well, i got to try
i'm not perfect and i'm not trying to be
in fact, i'm still learning with each experience

no one ever said growing up was gonna be easy
but that never stopped us from having fun
one thing i know for sure, is that whatever happens in the future
i've got great friends with me to enjoy this ride

xKx

17.35

what's happening to me
i seem to be losing it
something's gotta be wrong
i'm not myself anymore
i'm reckless and yet very careful
i'm in a hurry and yet there's still time
but then i've been wasting too much time
now i'm chasing something that's too fast
and has left me very very far behind

xKx

15.46

i miss being just myself
living without a care in the world
there'd be no responsibilities, no worries
and no role that i have to live up to

i want to just be me in a shirt and my old jeans
and i'd match it with my blue sneakers
there'd be no dressing up or make up
no high heels that are painful to walk in

i would scream as loud as i can
run as fast and as far as my feet will take me
i could end up somewhere no one knows my name
and that'd be fine as long as i can be me

xKx

15.29

as i sit drinking my hot chocolate
as i have been doing every morning before work
i find myself always thinking, reflecting
how things were and are and what i'd like to change

i am happy, that much i can say
life is simple, not filled with too much complications
everyday is almost always the same, like a routine
and for right now, i'm actually okay with that

i'd admit i might be scared for things to change
i'm not sure whether my heart and i are ready for that
for now, i'll simply take each day one step at a time
soon enough, i might find myself on another rollercoaster ride

xKx

15.26

my heart says this but my mind thinks that
confused as can be, unsure which to follow
it's been said, "mind over matter"
maybe that's why my mind took control

my heart's choosing to be careful
afraid to get hurt and cry again
it's never easy to forget, move on or simply get over it
and my mind knows better than to fall this time

xKx

02.03

my heart's sad when i miss you
when i don't get to see you
when we don't get to talk
but i can't help but smile
everytime they mention your name
my heart starts beating fast
i seem to get all excited
filled with hope and happiness
and i just can't wait to see you again

xKx

02.27

my heart feels ready
my mind says it's about time
my feet would take the next step
my hand to intertwine with yours
my eyes sparkle as i look at you
my ears listen to you sing me to sleep
my smile will show as i lay in your arms
and as you lay your head on mine,
only sweet dreams come til morning
good night my love

xKx

03.10

relaxing today with my family
feeling real lazy on the sofa
i smile as i suddenly think of you
now wondering where you are and what you're doing

i kinda sorta actually miss you
you and your little stories about society
i miss teasing you about them too
you're good company and real gentleman too

i miss you a bit too much, i'm writing about it now
i can't wait till i see you again, as my heart's restless
maybe you'd be at the next event, i'll keep my eyes open
'cause after all, just like you said, "now i've got you"

xKx

my beshie, my bestfriend

we don't talk everyday
although we both wish we did
we haven't seen each other for a while
as we're both on different sides of the world

being apart from family or a 'boyfriend' is hard
but being apart from a bestfriend is as bad
actually sometimes it could be worse
i should know, that's how i feel

but then again, so what if we're far apart
our friendship doesn't end 'cause we're not together
truth be told, our friendship only gets stronger
as we both work on keeping the connection

yes, circumstances change as do we
with each day, we grow older, a bit more mature
going through different things and learning
but still somehow exactly know what each other is feeling

we understand each other in a away no one else can
never afraid to show my true self when i'm with you
i miss your hugs eventhough you say i'm hugging myself
and though miles apart, i can always count on you

i miss just hanging out and our inside jokes ;P
then we'll be rocking to kelly clarkson tunes
and there's our never-ending conversations
oh there's no way i can miss anyone more

we both got big dreams we want to fulfill
but life could get crazy and stand in our way
we'd been through interesting 'relationships', drama, ups and downs
but i knew there's one guy who wouldn't break my heart

one day, we could be roomies in a beautiful european city
doing what we always do when we're together
but until then, phone calls and im's do just fine
knowing very well there's someone who'll always be there for me

bottom line is i really miss my beshie
and i love him 'cause he's family to me
remember 'beshies for life!', a promise i'd like to keep
actually more than a promise, it's a lifelong commitment i made. :))

xKx

22.11

i'd pretend like i don't care
act as though i'm really busy
but would you even notice me
would you actually care
you've got your conversations
and i've also got mine
eventhough it's you i really want to talk to
would you ever actually feel the same

xKx

22.03

on my mind awhile
it's been troubling me alot
actually scared to find out the truth
and possibly suffer the consequences

i know i tried my very best
but sometimes, to them, simply isn't enough
i cannot fail them, i don't want to
for disappointment will fill their eyes

everyone has faith and believes in me
they give me hope to stay positive
maybe things won't be as bad as i imagine
fingers crossed and everything will turn out fine

xKx

10.03

i can't help but smile
i've got you on my mind
your smile, your laugh, your eyes
a picture i'd like to keep

i can feel you, you're so close to me
in the silence, i can hear your heartbeat
and as your hand brushes mine
i feel some sort of electric shock

now i've got butterflies in my stomach
and suddenly i'm nervous and conscious
trying hard to keep my cool
and not embarrass myself in front of you

but as long as i'm with you
even in comfortable silence
i know i'd be fine
and just can't help but smile

xKx

09.33

i find it hard to smile
when my heart's not happy
it's filled with too much emotion
that i can't quite understand

i just wanna scream it all out
shout as loud as i can so you can hear
but nothing ever comes out of my mouth
knowing you probably wouldn't really care

i show a strong facade
but my knees are weak
and with one slight touch
i would probably break

i'm not sure how long i can keep this
pretend like it's not really there
because there is only so much
that my little heart can handle

xKx

09.10

breathing slowly
as my heart's heavy
restless, unsure why
makes me wanna cry

i see you for a while
then you walk away
i want to talk to you
but you never say much

still i fake a smile
pretend i'm happy where i am
when all i really wanna be
is sit beside you and hold your hand

xKx

i'd know

i'm searching for you - longing for you
i feel my heart beating faster and faster
it must sense you near - oh what to do
my feet start running to get closer to where you are

i stop, feeling completely dazed
unsure of what my next step would be
how am i suppose to find you in this crowd
when your face is all i want to see

i don't really know what you look like
all i have is my heart telling me i'd know
i'd know when i look you in the eyes
and you give me the smile i'm dreaming of

i'd know by you hand-brushed hair and the crooked smile
that cheeky grin that could make my heart melt
and you'd be wearing your favorite shirt
that brings out the color in your eyes

i'd know that as i come closer to you
my heart starts to beating like crazy
and my stomach is filled with butterflies
then for a moment, i forget to breathe.

i blink once, and then one more time
i need to make sure this is real
i drown out the noise of the crowd around me
as nothing else would matter when say 'hi'.

xKx

x.

i find myself dreaming of you again
it's not what i really want or what i need
but then again there's no way to control any dream
so here i am asking what that could mean

i don't think i really know you anymore
you would say the same thing, i know that much
for it's been a while since we last talked
and both of us know it's not gonna happen anytime soon

we're letting things be
let life run its course
we're still both young anyway
our lost friendship will have its day

xKx

ix.

here i am, by myself again
strumming my guitar just humming
i sit comfortably by my window
as i stare out blankly, daydreaming

i've been alone for a while
just me and my dreams at night
i know i have the best friends and family
but sometimes having that is simply not enough

i sing a familiar tune
it's another sad love song, i know
just can't seem to find a happy one
when my heart's not exactly satisfied

xKx

viii.

my heart
emotion, feelings
take chances
risk everything
just let it flow
let it just take control
my brain
my mind, thinking
to pretend and lie
deny everything
fake a smile or laugh
you're just gonna get hurt
which one's stronger?
which one should you listen to?

xKx

vii.

i should be sleeping
instead i'm awake
i've been tossing and turning
but now it's too late
my alarm clock's about to sound
hears its countdown
tick tock tick tock
maybe i'll just turn it off
i've been thinking, i've been reading
which is probably why i just can't sleep

xKx

04.43

i always wanted to move on
from a past that was too painful
now i see something in you, about you
that gives me that strange feeling again
i never thought that it would be you
others would always joke
and i would just laugh along
but now, why does it hurt inside
you made me smile
it got me all inspired
but things changed overnight
somehow i was just so bothered
unsure of how or why i'm feeling this way
maybe because it seemed impossible
you and me can never happen
oh why can't everything just go back
to the ways things were before
maybe i'll just pretend this is nothing
maybe i'll convince myself this is scary
maybe i'll hide or runaway from you
maybe i can deny that this is true
or maybe i'll lie and fake a smile
when inside, my heart is being torn apart
yes, i'll fake a smile
and pretend i'm okay
when you smile at me
and sit right next to me
yes, i'll be okay.

xKx

01.10

i want to pretend it's not there
i could act like it's not real
i'll just put things or feelings aside
i know i've done this before
but it never gets easier
maybe i'm just getting ahead of myself
maybe i'm really scared of getting hurt
maybe, just maybe
this was nothing but a dream

xKx

vi.

sometimes i want to distance myself
i'd convince myself to stay away
however whenever i see you
it's your smile that greets me
i just want you near
i want you to be sitting beside me.
you're with your friends
i can't stop but stare and smile.
i know i'm really crazy
i shouldn't be feeling this way
let me pretend, nothing has happened
i'd fake a smile as if everything's alright
i'll try and control myself, stop myself
before this feeling takes over me.

xKx

v.

the more i know you
the deeper i fall
i should stay away, distance myself
but then, you turn to be always there
you make me smile
you make me laugh
you make me feel good
about myself, life and right now
but i'm scared, really
why does this happen now
i've long waited for something like this
and it's you who just can't stay for long
now i don't want this
but it's too late to runaway now
if only i can switch off
everytime you're around
but i know i just can't
eventhough i wish i really could
to stop my heart from crying (or breaking)
knowing i'll just be a good friend to you

xKx

first.

it was never in my plans
no one saw it coming
you became the unexpected
i'm trying to deny rather than react
i'd pretend because i can't stay away
i was caught completely off guard
i'm scared, to have it and to lose it
but what can i really lose
especially if i didn't give it a try
so i accept it and take a step
now my turn is over, your move.

xKx

19.36

i miss love
the comforting shoulder
the tight squeeze of hand
the warmth of an embrace
i want love
but i can't have it
i can't feel it
when it's not mine to take
i need love
share me some
spare me more
but i already have love
and yet i still want more

xKx

19.30

inspiration is sinking in
smiling can't be stopped
everywhere i look and turn
everything i see and hear
all the thoughts i have
it makes me smile.
inspiration makes me smile. :)

xKx

14.39

let me just write
i have to let this all out
this may not make sense
let's just do this freestyle
my heart is beating fast
my head seems to be spinning
my hand is shaking
and i just feel like crying
i want to shout
i want to scream
i want to break free
let go of everything
there's no holding back
who cares who's watching
let them stare in disbelief
they don't need to understand
i stop to think
i need some rest
my mind is wondering
i could fall asleep
i want to run away
hide until all this is over
i don't have te strength to fight this
i'm even losing some faith
this can't really be happening
this is not really me
i know i'm stronger than this,
better than this
but i can't just see me right now
i'm afraid, i'm scared, i'm terrified
not sureof what to say, what to do
confused and drowning in my thoughts
someone pull me out of it, please

xKx

...

is there any given formula
in creating the perfect rhyme
is there any hidden recipe
in cooking up the perfect lines
we pour in a cup of emotion
fill in in with the right words
and sprinkle it with inspiration...........

16.49

lost in a daydream
staring into nothingness
i look at him beside me
he's as lost as i am
can't help but smile

xKx

08.46

what's happening to me
i seem to be losing it
something's gotta be wrong
i'm not myself anymore
i'm reckless and yet very careful
i'm in a hurry and yet there's still time
but then i've been wasting too much time
so i'm just chasing something
that left me behind

xKx

08.41

with a heavy heart
i have trouble breathing
one, breathe in slowly
i close my eyes
two, breathe out
and then open
relax, i tell myself
just relax
everything will be okay.
it should so it will be.

xKx

20.30

bow
the show's over
the curtain's closing
bow
your time's up
your turn's over
bow
no more second chances
no looking back
just say goodbye now.

xKx

15.53

life
i'm not sure what it is
simple yet complex
whole yet broken
something's missing
something's wrong
i look for answers
i try to find some meaning
i search, i ask, i question
and i pray.

xKx

12.17

it's time to give back
open your heart to others
it's not just about you
there are people that need more
empty up your pockets
who cares if you end up broke
if it's simply for a good cause

xKx

18.37

the sunlight hidden behind the clouds
struggling so hard to show itself
it wants to break free
it wants to shine as bright as it can
then it does
you say there's no other day that's brighter than today
then maybe life can't get better than this

xKx

never be afraid

it's ok that you're not ready.
but never be afraid.
learn to take chances.
there are some things you can't escape.
be stupid if you must.
but learn to love smartly.
and if things don't work out.
then they just aren't meant to be.

xKx

badly

i'm thinking of you tonight
and all that want to do

i wanna look into your eyes
like i'm looking into your soul

i wanna hold your hand
squeeze it tight like there's no letting go

i want you to hug me so tight
just to show me how much you've missed me

i wanna feel your kiss
just like the first time it felt so right

but most of all, i just wanna be with you tonight
like it's the last time you'd ever be mine

xKx

here we are again

Call me crazy to fall for someone like you
I can't seem to help it coz i always do
The truth is you've always been special
Eventhough most of the time it didn't show

Oh i wish i could see the future
So i would know how it ends for you and me
I wanna know if this time it's for real
Or if fate is just playing with me again

Have you ever thought fate may be playing games with you
Coz somehow you always seem to keep coming back to me
I guess you you just got to stop and realize
That there's got to be a reason why this keeps happening

Maybe we should take it as a sign
Something we were just too blind to see
So take my hand now and never let go
Until we see an apple in an orange tree

xKx

me and you

the longing for someone new
dawned on me when you found someone too
it made me wonder, it made me think
i actually lost you when i blinked

i was lost for days and months
but you weren't affected all too much
i even questioned what was wrong with me
and what you saw in her that you didn't see in me

i wanted you back, oh yes, i missed you so
this was the first time in my life i ever felt so low
it was just so hard to forget, i'm not like you
'cause i believed what we had was wonderful and true

i was badly hurt as you can see
it was difficult to accept that you left me
now all the plans we made are meaningless
so that's why i was in such a mess

so my friends came to me 'cause i couldn't do this alone
they said maybe all i need was time and an ice cream cone
that didn't do much, i still felt blue
but my friends took care of me like i had the flu

they listened to me with every bitterness i wept
and watched me cry all the hurt till i slept
they even gave advice to help me clear my mind
even if being with me took up most of their time

my friend kept saying let go, it's time to move on
it's such a waste crying coz you've been long gone
so i thought about it and said i'll give it a try
i'll just save my tears for some other lie

so i decided to let you go and set us free
'cause the only way to move on was to let you be
i lived my life one day at a time
until everything had become fine

one day, surprisingly, you just came back
saying things like how there was something you lacked
and we talked as friends even if it was hard for me
but there was nothing wrong with it so i let it be

everything was going fine until one day
you just had to ruin it with your ways
'cause you said you wanted me back in your life
but i couldn't let you in, not without a fight

so i didn't say yes but i didn't say no
i was confused and i didn't really know
see the thing is i didn't need you right now
but i didn't want to lose you again somehow

then i realized i never really stopped loving you
i guess i just learned to live my life without you by my side
this is something i know is definitely true
i've just been trying to convince myself my love for you has died

so up to now, i still don't know what to do
you can't help me, you're confused too
but the decision about us will have to wait
since now we are definitely miles away

we still talk every once in a while
but it's hard for me to know if you're telling a lie
'cause for a guy, you definitely got alot to say
but i'm trying my best to believe you anyway

alot definitely has changed, this is true
but you keep saying nothing compares to me and you
so like what i always say, let's just wait and see
whatever the future holds for you and me

you told me once you'd wait and i hope you still would
hope you wouldn't just change your mind like your mood
'cause who knows one day we'll actually see
and find out if we were really meant to be

xKx

- starbucks, july22, saturday, 3:30pm -

take me home

wondering the streets alone
no one's calling my phone
isn't anyone looking for me
thinking where could i be

but then again who would bother
to waste their time just to find me
and now as time passes by, i feel lonelier
'cause i'm just a stranger to those who see

i keep imagining where you are, what you're doing
and wonderin' if you're thinking about me too
i'm missing you so much already
that now i also dream of me and you

it hurts me so that we're miles apart
i can't see your face or atleast hold your hand
but now, i'm all alone, left in the dark
and no one else could help me, only you can

i'm slowly losing control of my life
maybe i just need you to be part of it
'cause i've tried my best to do it on my own
but then i realized i need you more and more

then there you were, right in front of me
looking so worried, i couldn't help but just stare
is this some kind of illusion or crazy dream
that you are actually back with me

you hugged me tight like you won't let me go
while telling me things i've been wanting to hear
you held my hand and begged me to try
but i didn't budge, all i did was cry

so now please would you take me home
'cause i always wanna be by your side
with you is where i belong
take me home back to you

'cause you know i still love you
you know i'll always care
i want you back in my life
so can i ask you to stay

and never ever leave me alone again

xKx

- july 21 -

untitled, unfinished and uninspired

love hasn't always gone my way before
everytime i fall, i just get hurt even more
tears were always shed for someone who couldn't stay
so i put my heart aside and left love for some other day

maybe love isn't just for me
i gave up searching for something i couldn't see
i wanted something no one could give
every time i was scared, i would just leave

i'm a hopeless romantic who believed in fairytales
but now i'm one of those who has given up on true love
no more daydreaming
no more wishing on stars

but one day all that changed
for i started believing again
thanks to that unforgettable summer
i wasn't....