01.52

it's getting harder and harder each day
to just sit here waiting patiently for you
you said goodbye and left with a hug
and now you're back without any warning

my mind's full of unanswered questions
while my heart's restless, unsure what to feel
but my head's telling me to just let it all go
maybe this is just how things are meant to be

i should leave things as they are
and not to expect anything more
this is me, preparing for the heartbreak
hoping to be surprised instead in the end

xKx

09.59

can't believe that summer's almost over
i guess time really flies when you're having fun
gotta make the most of what's left
while still waiting for something great to happen

this has already been my busiest summer
working most days, sleeping whenever i can
there are get-togethers and movie nights too with some extra effort
should i be worried with changes that autumn could possibly bring

four months ago, i know this summer would be different
now four months laterm i feel there's so much more i can do
but i guess all that can wait till next year comes round
all i'd do now is think back on the memories of this summer

and somehow i know i'd never forget

xKx

12.33

i've been living with this emptiness
like solving a puzzle without a clue
pretending there's no void in my life
acting like there's no hole in my heart
putting up walls against any emotion
showing a strong facade for everyone to see

xKx

22.18

where are the stars tonight?
i just need to make one wish
maybe i'll throw a penny in the fountain
then close my eyes and simply whisper
like i do before blowing out all the candles
or maybe, just maybe, if i think long and hard enough
my wish, this dream, could and would simply come true

xKx

11.05

out in the park
under the sun
lying on the grass
enjoying the heat
i put my shades on and fall asleep.

the packed lunches
with frisbees flying
there's even sunbathing
and card-playing too
don't you feel like you're at the beach?

building sandcastles
splashing in the water
walking around barefoot
to feel the sand between my toes
isn't summer just so much fun?

12.35

i can't get it out of my head
this new friendship that we share
slowly getting to know each other
when spending more time together

i'm starting to like you
i know my parents already do
a real gentleman and a guy with ambitions
how can anyone not fall for your charms

as i play with your hair and brush it with my fingers
it all seems just so normal, comfortable and so right
as you stand close to me, i take in your scent
i smile and sigh, hoping i wasn't too obvious

i'd miss you when you're not around
'cause you keep me company when i'm alone
real thoughtful as you lend me your books
oh couldn't you just get any sweeter at all

i immediately smile when anyone says your name
and i might talk about you, just a little bit too much
my heart's restless when i don't see you around
even more when you are and don't say hi

i don't want to jinx anything by overthinking this
if we ever we become more or remain just friends
that's all in the future we'll have to wait and see
for now, i'll simply make the most of this friendship we share

xKx

21.53

half full or half empty
how do you view the water in the glass
half empty; the glass used to be full
half full; there's still something left to drink
half empty; what if it's not enough, you need more
half full; still enough to satisfy your thirst
half empty today can be half full tomorrow
oh well, i guess life's interesting that way

xKx

21.18

the disco lights are switched on
the music's blasting through the speakers
you find your feet tapping to the beat
and your head nodding to every word
closing your eyes, you just let it all go
lose all control and let the music move you

xKx

02.04

my heart's sad when i miss you
when i don't get to see you
when we don't get to talk
but i can't help but smile
everytime they mention your name
my heart starts beating fast
i seem to get all excited
filled with hope and happiness
and i just can't wait to see you again

xKx

19.17

can't seem to get you off my mind
thoughts of you are on constant reply
everytime i close my eyes
your face is all that i see
hope people don't think i'm crazy
when i smile so suddenly
i really miss you, that much is true
and i can't wait till i see you again

xKx

19.31

i think i'd do things slowly this time
take things easy and try to relax
there really shouldn't be any hurry
for every thing will turn out fine
nothing else to actually be worried about
after all, we're simply friends and nothing more

xKx

12.55

my heart has been broken before
but everytime it still hurts
because once it finally starts to heal
another one comes and slowly tears it apart

there's probably why i'm afraid
everytime a guy starts getting close
i slowly take a step backwards, away from him
afraid that what i'm feeling is some mistake

someday, one day, maybe the right guy would come
the one who could possibly break my heart to never heal
but he wouldn't, he wouldn't even let a fly hurt me
and the only tears i'll cry is of happiness and sheer joy

xKx

08.58

i thought i heard your laugh
my heart skipped a beat
i wanted it to be you
i wanted to see you so badly
but i guess i'm not that lucky

xKx

09.19

chances, i'm taking all i've got
with a little courage, i'm making changes
choosing to be happier, a bit more carefree
not being pressured into anything i don't wanna be
so full of hope for the future coming
can't wait to see what's in store for me

xKx

dance

dance, let it all out
dance, show me what you got
dance, who care who's watching
dance, move to the beat
dance, who care if you're alone
dance, release all your stress
dance, the floor's all yours
dance, you know you're having fun
dance, just let it all go
and let the music take control

xKx

23.09

don't really wanna get my hopes up
i'd only end up disappointed and hurt
i should learn to live without expectations
but this i know is easier said than done
getting some sleep will help for now
i'd be able to start fresh tomorrow
but sleep can only do so much
unable to really cure a broken heart

xKx

08.43

4 words
took only a minute to say it
but now it's stuck in my ears ringing

4 words
it was what i was avoiding to hear
it's something i didn't want to know

4 words
from cloud nine, i cam tumbling down

4 words
and i woke up from all the dreaming

1 word
yes, just one little word
that's all it took my break my heart

xKx

01.38

i'm sad you didn't say goodbye
like you always do when you're leaving
there was no 'beso beso', not even a wave
you didn't even glance my way
maybe next time it'll be different
hoping, maybe i'd get to see your smile then

xKx

10.35

drowning myself in work
i try and keep myself busy
to keep my mind off it
to keep myself too tired to think
to be too tired to feel anything else
don't really want to think about it
don't wanna feel what my heart does
for it'd be easier to laugh or smile like that

xKx

09.54

i'm giving my heart the rest it deserves
allowing my mind to have a break
it's been thinking a bit too much
but sometimes i just really miss you alot
and then maybe my heart can't wait to see you again
today may not be my lucky day
but maybe tomorrow, fingers crossed
giving me something to look forward to

xKx

16.40

i should have gotten better at this
staring at him from afar
and crushing from a distance
afraid to make that one step to him
i know to not stand too close
i might laugh a little louder or smile just a bit more
and scared it'd become too obvious
i just want to keep this little secret
though at times i want to shout it out
but afraid you wouldn't feel the same
maybe you'd make the first move
maybe you'd find someone else
so until then i'd keep a good distance
and stare at you til my heart's satisfied

xKx

16.28

i've known you for quite a while now
only now am i getting to really know you
we're slowly becoming real good friends
great company at events like this
now i've got this little crush
that reminds me of high school
hoping, wishing it could turn into a bit more

xKx

16.41

i hope it's not really obvious
in the way i could talk to you
and tell your own stories to others
or in the way i try to spend time with you
make excuses just to hang around longer
hopefully not in the way my face lights up
whenever someone says your name
or in the way i discretely stare at you
smiling, thinking of how cute you can be
secretly i want so badly to tell you
but i know i'll never find the courage to
so i'll keep this little crush to myself
fingers crossed, that you'd be feeling the same way too

xKx

02.06

i've got this little secret i don't really wanna tell
i'm quite happy just keeping it to myself
it's unlike me to not be sharing something like this
i guess i'm scared of what it meant to say it out loud
to have it out in the open would make it seem more real
not sure whether my heart is ready to fall or trust again
but it can't be stopped if i'm already falling for you

xKx

09.40

i really should be getting some rest
i shouldn't be going to work
but i can't help it, i need to
it's the only way i could avoid 'you'
the thoughts of 'you' that fill my mind
and won't put my heart to ease

xKx

13.53

i really miss you
if only you knew
but maybe you do
i'd give you a clue
can't wait to see you

xKx

08.47

i may be going crazy
feeling all wierd inside
one moment you'll find me laughing
the next my tears can't be stopped

really confused on what i should feel
optimistic now then hopeless the next
life is meant to be really simple
so why do i seem to complicate things

completely unsure, i blame myself
i shouldn't really, but what can i do
maybe sleep would be the best thing for now
as for tomorrow, that's another day, we'll see

xKx

17.03

i close my eyes and i'm in a dream
i'm in my make-believe world i run away to
i like to pretend i'm someone else
and that i'm living a different life
for a moment, i'd forget all my worries
i'd be perfectly happy before returning to reality

xKx

17.51

lost in a daydream
i look at his face
he's as lost as i am
can't help but smile
hoping he'd look my way
until then, i'm content just staring at him
his eyes, his smile, his laugh
secretly, slowly, falling for him

xKx

15.45

sometimes i wish i was younger
everything was very much simpler than it is now
carefree, young and life was easy
whenever i get a new toy, i was happy

sometimes i wish i was still in highschool
understanding much less than i do now
new experiences with friendship, shool and love
creating memories to remember forever

now i'm older and more mature
no longer a teenager in high school
or a little kid with a brand new toy
but a young adult all grown up

i hope i'm ready, i hope i'll be okay
can i do this alone? well, i got to try
i'm not perfect and i'm not trying to be
in fact, i'm still learning with each experience

no one ever said growing up was gonna be easy
but that never stopped us from having fun
one thing i know for sure, is that whatever happens in the future
i've got great friends with me to enjoy this ride

xKx

17.35

what's happening to me
i seem to be losing it
something's gotta be wrong
i'm not myself anymore
i'm reckless and yet very careful
i'm in a hurry and yet there's still time
but then i've been wasting too much time
now i'm chasing something that's too fast
and has left me very very far behind

xKx

15.46

i miss being just myself
living without a care in the world
there'd be no responsibilities, no worries
and no role that i have to live up to

i want to just be me in a shirt and my old jeans
and i'd match it with my blue sneakers
there'd be no dressing up or make up
no high heels that are painful to walk in

i would scream as loud as i can
run as fast and as far as my feet will take me
i could end up somewhere no one knows my name
and that'd be fine as long as i can be me

xKx

15.29

as i sit drinking my hot chocolate
as i have been doing every morning before work
i find myself always thinking, reflecting
how things were and are and what i'd like to change

i am happy, that much i can say
life is simple, not filled with too much complications
everyday is almost always the same, like a routine
and for right now, i'm actually okay with that

i'd admit i might be scared for things to change
i'm not sure whether my heart and i are ready for that
for now, i'll simply take each day one step at a time
soon enough, i might find myself on another rollercoaster ride

xKx

15.26

my heart says this but my mind thinks that
confused as can be, unsure which to follow
it's been said, "mind over matter"
maybe that's why my mind took control

my heart's choosing to be careful
afraid to get hurt and cry again
it's never easy to forget, move on or simply get over it
and my mind knows better than to fall this time

xKx

02.03

my heart's sad when i miss you
when i don't get to see you
when we don't get to talk
but i can't help but smile
everytime they mention your name
my heart starts beating fast
i seem to get all excited
filled with hope and happiness
and i just can't wait to see you again

xKx

02.27

my heart feels ready
my mind says it's about time
my feet would take the next step
my hand to intertwine with yours
my eyes sparkle as i look at you
my ears listen to you sing me to sleep
my smile will show as i lay in your arms
and as you lay your head on mine,
only sweet dreams come til morning
good night my love

xKx

03.10

relaxing today with my family
feeling real lazy on the sofa
i smile as i suddenly think of you
now wondering where you are and what you're doing

i kinda sorta actually miss you
you and your little stories about society
i miss teasing you about them too
you're good company and real gentleman too

i miss you a bit too much, i'm writing about it now
i can't wait till i see you again, as my heart's restless
maybe you'd be at the next event, i'll keep my eyes open
'cause after all, just like you said, "now i've got you"

xKx

my beshie, my bestfriend

we don't talk everyday
although we both wish we did
we haven't seen each other for a while
as we're both on different sides of the world

being apart from family or a 'boyfriend' is hard
but being apart from a bestfriend is as bad
actually sometimes it could be worse
i should know, that's how i feel

but then again, so what if we're far apart
our friendship doesn't end 'cause we're not together
truth be told, our friendship only gets stronger
as we both work on keeping the connection

yes, circumstances change as do we
with each day, we grow older, a bit more mature
going through different things and learning
but still somehow exactly know what each other is feeling

we understand each other in a away no one else can
never afraid to show my true self when i'm with you
i miss your hugs eventhough you say i'm hugging myself
and though miles apart, i can always count on you

i miss just hanging out and our inside jokes ;P
then we'll be rocking to kelly clarkson tunes
and there's our never-ending conversations
oh there's no way i can miss anyone more

we both got big dreams we want to fulfill
but life could get crazy and stand in our way
we'd been through interesting 'relationships', drama, ups and downs
but i knew there's one guy who wouldn't break my heart

one day, we could be roomies in a beautiful european city
doing what we always do when we're together
but until then, phone calls and im's do just fine
knowing very well there's someone who'll always be there for me

bottom line is i really miss my beshie
and i love him 'cause he's family to me
remember 'beshies for life!', a promise i'd like to keep
actually more than a promise, it's a lifelong commitment i made. :))

xKx

22.11

i'd pretend like i don't care
act as though i'm really busy
but would you even notice me
would you actually care
you've got your conversations
and i've also got mine
eventhough it's you i really want to talk to
would you ever actually feel the same

xKx

22.03

on my mind awhile
it's been troubling me alot
actually scared to find out the truth
and possibly suffer the consequences

i know i tried my very best
but sometimes, to them, simply isn't enough
i cannot fail them, i don't want to
for disappointment will fill their eyes

everyone has faith and believes in me
they give me hope to stay positive
maybe things won't be as bad as i imagine
fingers crossed and everything will turn out fine

xKx

10.03

i can't help but smile
i've got you on my mind
your smile, your laugh, your eyes
a picture i'd like to keep

i can feel you, you're so close to me
in the silence, i can hear your heartbeat
and as your hand brushes mine
i feel some sort of electric shock

now i've got butterflies in my stomach
and suddenly i'm nervous and conscious
trying hard to keep my cool
and not embarrass myself in front of you

but as long as i'm with you
even in comfortable silence
i know i'd be fine
and just can't help but smile

xKx

09.33

i find it hard to smile
when my heart's not happy
it's filled with too much emotion
that i can't quite understand

i just wanna scream it all out
shout as loud as i can so you can hear
but nothing ever comes out of my mouth
knowing you probably wouldn't really care

i show a strong facade
but my knees are weak
and with one slight touch
i would probably break

i'm not sure how long i can keep this
pretend like it's not really there
because there is only so much
that my little heart can handle

xKx

09.10

breathing slowly
as my heart's heavy
restless, unsure why
makes me wanna cry

i see you for a while
then you walk away
i want to talk to you
but you never say much

still i fake a smile
pretend i'm happy where i am
when all i really wanna be
is sit beside you and hold your hand

xKx

i'd know

i'm searching for you - longing for you
i feel my heart beating faster and faster
it must sense you near - oh what to do
my feet start running to get closer to where you are

i stop, feeling completely dazed
unsure of what my next step would be
how am i suppose to find you in this crowd
when your face is all i want to see

i don't really know what you look like
all i have is my heart telling me i'd know
i'd know when i look you in the eyes
and you give me the smile i'm dreaming of

i'd know by you hand-brushed hair and the crooked smile
that cheeky grin that could make my heart melt
and you'd be wearing your favorite shirt
that brings out the color in your eyes

i'd know that as i come closer to you
my heart starts to beating like crazy
and my stomach is filled with butterflies
then for a moment, i forget to breathe.

i blink once, and then one more time
i need to make sure this is real
i drown out the noise of the crowd around me
as nothing else would matter when say 'hi'.

xKx

x.

i find myself dreaming of you again
it's not what i really want or what i need
but then again there's no way to control any dream
so here i am asking what that could mean

i don't think i really know you anymore
you would say the same thing, i know that much
for it's been a while since we last talked
and both of us know it's not gonna happen anytime soon

we're letting things be
let life run its course
we're still both young anyway
our lost friendship will have its day

xKx

ix.

here i am, by myself again
strumming my guitar just humming
i sit comfortably by my window
as i stare out blankly, daydreaming

i've been alone for a while
just me and my dreams at night
i know i have the best friends and family
but sometimes having that is simply not enough

i sing a familiar tune
it's another sad love song, i know
just can't seem to find a happy one
when my heart's not exactly satisfied

xKx

viii.

my heart
emotion, feelings
take chances
risk everything
just let it flow
let it just take control
my brain
my mind, thinking
to pretend and lie
deny everything
fake a smile or laugh
you're just gonna get hurt
which one's stronger?
which one should you listen to?

xKx

vii.

i should be sleeping
instead i'm awake
i've been tossing and turning
but now it's too late
my alarm clock's about to sound
hears its countdown
tick tock tick tock
maybe i'll just turn it off
i've been thinking, i've been reading
which is probably why i just can't sleep

xKx

04.43

i always wanted to move on
from a past that was too painful
now i see something in you, about you
that gives me that strange feeling again
i never thought that it would be you
others would always joke
and i would just laugh along
but now, why does it hurt inside
you made me smile
it got me all inspired
but things changed overnight
somehow i was just so bothered
unsure of how or why i'm feeling this way
maybe because it seemed impossible
you and me can never happen
oh why can't everything just go back
to the ways things were before
maybe i'll just pretend this is nothing
maybe i'll convince myself this is scary
maybe i'll hide or runaway from you
maybe i can deny that this is true
or maybe i'll lie and fake a smile
when inside, my heart is being torn apart
yes, i'll fake a smile
and pretend i'm okay
when you smile at me
and sit right next to me
yes, i'll be okay.

xKx

01.10

i want to pretend it's not there
i could act like it's not real
i'll just put things or feelings aside
i know i've done this before
but it never gets easier
maybe i'm just getting ahead of myself
maybe i'm really scared of getting hurt
maybe, just maybe
this was nothing but a dream

xKx